Protect yourself with a PC holiday greeting

Not sure what to put in those holiday cards anymore? (Witness the recent and ridiculous 'outrage' over the President's holiday card greetings.) Well, here's the answer for next year: holiday boilerplate.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Europe great, (not to imply that Europe is necessarily greater than any other continent) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

- A holiday message sent by Dutch attorney C.O. Wenckebach to journalist Arjan Dasselaar. Posted by Picasa