Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
[Hat tip to the Bidinotto blog]